Unraveling the Lies We Tell Ourselves

An inner rawness (a barbaric unfeelingness) can tempt an unhealed heart, callousing our compassion until it runs cold.

I read Jo Ann’s words this week and I couldn’t help but see myself. The way her thoughts described mine was unnerving. As she spoke about her numbness toward the events on 9/11, I thought of the numbness I had once developed toward myself. From the time I was young, Satan had whispered lies to me—lies I think almost every woman has heard at some point in her life.

You are not worthy of love and friendship.

You aren’t smart enough, pretty enough, good enough.

You just aren’t enough.  

From time to time, I wrestled with those thoughts and then when my ex-husband abandoned our family I began mentally ripping myself apart. I allowed those dark words that plagued me throughout high school and college return with a vengeance. And this time there was even more for the enemy to use against me.

The darkness I found myself in was so immediate that I pushed down the devastating emotions I should have processed and plunged head forward into life as a single parent. I took care of my children and excelled in graduate school. I carried on with friendships and attended church. No one I knew had ever been through a situation like mine.  I received compliments over and over about how well I was handling being a single mother and student.

But in my pain and brokenness I saw myself as something completely different.

I believed I was unworthy of another man wanting my children and me. In the mirror I saw a woman that was used, washed up, and undeserving of a healthy, loving relationship. Being a single mom was the only choice I had—at least that’s what I told myself. Because of my ex-husband’s decisions, I too would always be known as a victim of his crippling addiction.

I bought into the enemy’s lies, hook, line and sinker. And that choice took me to some pretty dark places—places only God could bring me back from.

But only when I made the choice to surrender my bleeding soul to Him could healing take place.

The journey from self–annihilation to self-acceptance has been one of miracles. It’s a daily fight to corral my thoughts but the reward for believing God’s Word and soaking in its goodness is better than I imagined.  I’m so thankful God placed people in my life to help me understand more of Him, more of me, and more of all the love He has for us.

 Lies unravel easily when lined up under the truth.
Jo Ann Fore, When a Woman Finds Her Voice

The process is not easy but God is waiting to guide us. Will we allow Him to unravel the lies we’ve believed for so long?

Together a group of us have been walking through the book, When A Woman Finds Her Voice: Overcoming Life’s Hurts & Using Your Story to Make a Difference. We join hands and hearts here to paint a wide hope. {We’d like to think it’s wide enough to tempt you to your own healing journey.} We invite you to join us.

This week’s link up is about dealing with unhealthy thoughts and emotions. How do you deal with negative thinking? Are you allowing God to help heal your thoughts, help you cultivate new ways of thinking? If so, what steps are you taking? 

Consider joining us? Link up your blog with us this week, and share with us your answers? If you aren’t a blogger, simply leave a comment below. We want to know how God is stirring in your heart. And be sure to stop in on some of the other bloggers, you never know the heart-connection that might be waiting.